y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
