Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
