There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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