My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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