Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
