Your face is a jimmy john
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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