we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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