i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
