you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
