I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i think i just lost a toe
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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