i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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