Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
