Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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