I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
