I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
