Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
