I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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