he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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