She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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