fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
