too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
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The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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