We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
