At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
