By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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