I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
