we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im six kinds of drunk right now
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
