NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
