after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have poison ivy on my dick
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP