dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.