her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail