Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
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she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
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He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?