But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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