If that was your dad, he is hot
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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