girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
