His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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