2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
