my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I love having hate sex.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
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