I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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