I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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