Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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