I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I puked a lego.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
