this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
