you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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