I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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