Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
