Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Randomize
