Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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