u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize