i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
