Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
