Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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