i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize