You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
this beer tastes like vomit already
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
