please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
