using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Alive.
So much puke
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
