She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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