Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
