Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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