One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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