I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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