glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
