I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize