Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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