I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
